Mindful Daze

Ferber This

Mae is eight months old and we're trying to get her to sleep through the night. Eight months of one of us (or both of us) getting up every night - interrupted sleep - is enough. We decided to give the Ferber method a try, and according to the book we're reading she should have been sleeping through the night like a week ago. Well, I'm pretty sure that was our cute baby at 4:30 this morning crying her lungs out. What the hell?

Actually, things are getting better. She did wake at 1:30am the previous night (morning), so I think we're making progress. God, I hope so. I'm back in the club working out and I'm afraid I'm going to doze off and drop a weight on my head!

I'm enjoying fatherhood this time around. In fact, I don't remember much about being involved (or not being involved) with the first three. My eldest is now 26 - I probably spent the most time with her, but nothing compared with the time I spend with Mae. I'm loving the time and all the things I'm learning about raising a child. It ain't easy. Not at all. I have a whole new found respect for moms who stay at home to raise babies while dad is off slaying dragons.

I think the biggest thing I've learned is the importance of communication between parents. I can see how easy it would be for mom's to think that they've been stranded to take care of baby while dad is out entertaining clients - having nice meals - playing golf - and all that stuff. I've been there - and now see the other side. Fact is - dad (or in my case - mom) is off doing their thing to put bread on the table (milk in baby's tummy) - but it's all part of the work world. The work world does not care about babies - no matter what they tell you. They DO care about profits - which means doing your work, entertaining clients, taking on more projects, etc. Babies don't fit in the work world. Nope.

On the other hand (sorry for the cliche'), stay-at-home parents work their ass off, too. They don't really have time to sit around and eat bonbon's or watch Dr. Phil or Oprah all day. There's way too much going on with Baby. Feeding, changing diapers, chasing them around while they crawl, tending to them while they attempt to stand (Mae is now standing with ONE hand and every now and then LETTING GO just to see the shock on my face). Nap time is nice, but it's then time to wash bottles, empty diaper pails, vacuum up dog hair so the baby won't eat it, run out for formula / diapers / wipes / food... On and on.

Most days I really do think being a stay-at-home parent is harder than running a business. I spent almost ten years managing one of the largest accounts in the world. It was hard work, no doubt, but raising Mae is much more challenging in so many ways. I'll write about those later - I hear her crying and mom needs a break.

Is it spring yet?

I have to go coach T-Ball tonight - and it's drizzling out and the temperature is hovering just around 45F or 8C. I keep watching my mailbox to see if a an email declaring all games canceled shows up. So far, no luck. In the meantime, Baby Mae has decided to put on her tuque - It's cold outside!

Dad thoughts

Here's a crazy photo I took of Baby Mae awhile back:

I've been thinking of starting a new blog - one all about the things I've learned this time around being a dad. I thought I'd name it something catchy like: www.thingsilearnedbeingadad.com - but - I decided against it. I think I'll use this place. I've had mindfuldaze for a long time - I've restarted - recreated - it more than a few times. This time I'd like to just write a way - a place to keep my thoughts from each day - because each day is nothing short of a miracle. I never thought I'd make it this far as a new dad. I figured I'd collapse under the pressure - but I'm still at it and having a great time. How could I not? Baby Mae is so wonderful, and I'm learning so much about what it takes to be a good parent.

Stay tuned. I may even write a funny line or two...

In a New York Minute

Things can change just that fast. One minute I'm thinking of leaving Corporate America and hating my life - the next minute - I'm married and have the cutest baby in the world. Just that quick.

There she is - Baby Mae. She just turned 13 weeks-old yesterday (I actually updated this photo in May. She has a cold (her second so far), but she's just plain adorable.

I haven't done much of anything over the last 13 weeks - other than just be a parent. I think I'm FINALLY learning how to be a good parent. It's not easy. Private Thought: I don't think anyone should take on the role of parent until they're at least 30. I'm not kidding. It's just so dang hard - and - it takes both parents to make it all work right. Even then, it's such a challenge at times.

Speaking of challenge. I'll have to continue this thought later. Baby Mae just woke up from her nap and she smells funny.

Waiting for Baby

I need to get to the club today to work off some of the turkey and trimmins' that I loaded up on over the weekend. It's raining right now, so I'll have to wait until later. I ride my bike to the club, and I just don't feel like getting wet right now. Beside, it's cold season!

Baby is due in about 3 weeks now. I think we're pretty prepared for her/him. We still don't have the nursery completed, but that's okay - he/she will probably sleep in one of those little portable baby thingies for the first few months. We're still waiting for our new window, then, the dry wall guys come in to do their thing - paint - and pretty things up - then we'll be ready. I think.

I keep telling myself to enjoy these last weeks of freedom. Once the baby gets here - everything changes.

Rainy Daze

It's 8:30 and I'm still in bed. I feel better than I did yesterday, but I just don't want to get up. It's raining outside, and I know I have to clean up my studio - and vacuum the rest of the house. I really don't mind doing it - once I get started. It's just the 'getting started' part I don't like.

I'm taking a few days off from working out. I've managed to string together eight weeks of pretty intense workouts. I'm doing really well. I feel great, and can now cinch my belt in three notches I couldn't just eight weeks ago. Not bad. My problem is I get a little too pushy with wanting more results - faster - and I end up wearing myself down to the point where I get sick. Oh well - I'm glad it happened now, rather than just two weeks into it. I'll be ready to get back at it tomorrow.

Baby is due in just about four weeks now. I wish I could say we're ready, but we're not. We still have to get the little hospital bag together - oh, and fix up the entire nursery - but we'll get there. Maybe. If we don't, she or he will just have to sleep in a drawer until mom and dad get their shit together.

We're waiting on the window replacement. Then, we have to have the drywall guys come in to fix a few walls, then the electrical, then the window guy to put the casement back on, then the carpet, then the crib - THEN the baby. We may wrap things up by the time he or she is two...

Okay -- I need some coffee...

Write back at it

I found a software program called MarsEdit. Seems like it might be something to at least help me create posts offline when the mood strikes. I've been terrible - no - horrible - no - pathetic at posting entries on a consistent basis. My fall resolution --> write at least three posts a week. Sounds simple, but with baby arriving in the next five or six weeks, it'll be a challenge.

I'm lounging around this morning after not sleeping all that well last night. I want to go to the club to work out - but my body is saying no. We'll see. I'd still like to ride over and get this one in.

I'm beginning to stress a little over the immigration process. I'd be done with it by now if not for all the crazy paperwork required to get married. Since I was married before, the government wants some assurances that I'm actually divorced and not some American polygamist out to ruin the life of one of their innocent women. Please. Still, it's holding up the process. I wanted my landed immigrant status by Christmas. Now, it may be spring before that happens.

I'm feeling a bit rudderless because of all this. I fill out paperwork and wait. Fill out more paperwork. Wait. Nothing is simple in this country - or - maybe it's just Ontario. What would take maybe an hour to accomplish in the US takes weeks here.

I went to get my drivers license. They couldn't see my entire driving history - all they could see was that I renewed my license back in mid-2006 when I received my motorcycle classification. From that they assume I've only been driving since then. Uh - no - I've had my license since I was 16! So - what do I have to do to fix the situation - more paperwork! If I don't prove that I've been a licensed driver for longer than a year, then, I'll have to take both the drivers and motorcycle testing in five years. Not a simple feat in this country - entails lots of - you guessed it - paperwork - and time. Oh - not to mention money. I think I paid 10 or 15 bucks for my license back home - here - 75 dollars.

I could go on - but it's no use. I'm reminded on a daily basis just how good life is back in the US. I miss it, but I'm adjusting here - slowly. I'm thinking I need to head back for a week or so before the baby arrives - just to pick up a few things (without having to pay the damn premium on everything in Canada - not to mention the taxes) - and visit a few of my favorite American places -- like the ballpark.

There are some good things about Canada - I'm just at a loss right now to recall what they are.